The family has left and we are alone once again. Together like always in the past 33 wonderful years. Her eyes are closed but her left arm curls around my neck and holds me tight; she knows I'm holding her in my arms. Her body jerks with pain and she cries out.

For thirty years there was nothing I could not do or fix, whatever she asked. Now she is begging for her life and I'm so helpless. God, where are you when I need you ?

The fluid is building in her lungs, she wheezes, gasping for air; her only good arm reaches up, out toward me, like a drowning man ; I see the terror in her eyes; drowning, over and over again. Her words are garbled but the pleading eyes are haunting me , I will never,never forget.

An injection of ...... dries up the fluid in her lungs in a couple hours. She stops struggling and rests. Getting on to be 10.00pm, I sit in the recliner and try to rest too.