XMAS , 1995.
I'm trying so hard to live.
She was up every morning at 5 to start her day with an hour walk around the neighbourhood. We both knew that our time together was coming to an end, we just did not speak about it hoping that it's just a bad dream and we wake up one morning and the nightmare will be over.

She came in this morning cold and soaking wet after her walk in the rain and when I hugged her and asked how she was doing, she said with a SIGHT:

"I'm trying so hard to live."

It breaks my heart, when you say
I'm trying so hard to live
I see our sky clouding over
Our love an abyss.
I have travelled across the globe
and searched the Continents
to find you,around the corner
waiting for happiness.
Your soul and mine - intertwine
with the years we spent
My Christmas Wish;
that we never see the end.
When the Sun hides behind the clouds
and the rain pounds on the roof
My heart is heavy with sorrow
I have soo much to loose.
This horrendous black cloud
That hungs over our head
Will never cover
Our years of happiness.
The multitudes you have cared for
Will never know
Your pain you hid so well
Until it was time to go.
If it is decided that
I must stay behind
I know that soon
We will re - unite.
So, when the end comes
far or near
I will find you again, I promise!
No Fear!!!